Navigating Ego and Awakening: How to Surrender?
In these times, more and more of us are waking up to a deeper part of ourselves. This journey, called awakening, is a beautiful but sometimes challenging process. Along the way, we start to question the parts of ourselves we thought were real—what we call the ego, “the old self” or the “protective self.” The ego is not bad or good; it’s just a collection of all the experiences and beliefs we’ve gathered over our lifetime. It’s the version of us that has helped us survive in the world.
But as we get closer to recognizing the divine, the true self within us, the ego begins to feel threatened. It doesn’t want to let go, and it can create a lot of inner resistance. You might feel pulled back into old habits, fears, and ways of thinking. This can be confusing, and it’s easy to wonder: Should we resist the ego, or is there a different way?
Understanding the Ego’s Role
The ego, the “protective self” has helped us get through life, and in many ways, it’s been useful. It’s helped us build our identity, form relationships, and make sense of the world. But as we start to wake up to who we truly are—something much deeper and more expansive than the ego—it can feel like the ego, the protective self, is holding us back.
What’s happening is that the protective self (ego) is afraid. It feels like it’s dying, and in a way, it is. The part of us that is based on fear, control, and separation is losing its power. The more we align with love and the divine within, the more the ego fights to stay in charge. It’s not something to fight against, though. The key is to recognize that the ego is just afraid and to learn how to surrender.
How to Recognize the Ego?
The ego can be tricky to spot because it often sounds like our own inner voice. But there are signs that can help us tell the difference. The ego is loud and demanding. It constantly wants attention, approval, and control, it likes drama. You might notice it when you're overthinking, trying to justify your actions, or worrying about how others see you. The ego is always trying to prove something and doesn't like uncertainty. It asks questions like, "Am I good enough?" or "What will people think?"
In contrast, the soul speaks in a quiet, calm way. It doesn't need to explain itself because it simply knows. The soul gives you a gentle sense of direction and peace, without the need for constant reassurance. While the ego creates noise and stress, the soul brings clarity and trust.
If you find yourself caught in a loop of overthinking or feeling restless, it's likely the ego at play. But when you feel a quiet, peaceful knowing inside, that’s your soul guiding you. Recognizing the ego is about learning to tune into the softer, more peaceful voice within, rather than getting lost in the noise of the mind.
A Personal Story of Awakening
I’ve noticed this struggle in myself and others. Over the past year, I’ve met so many people going through something similar. Most of them have experienced some kind of trauma, and it seems like the pain has triggered their spiritual transformation. It feels like this awakening is happening not just to individuals but across the world. People are waking up to who they truly are—navigating both the light and the dark, fear and love.
Not long ago, I met a woman who had been on four Ayahuasca journeys. After her fourth experience, she felt an incredible sense of freedom, as though she had released her ego completely. But not long after, while attending a chanting event, she was hit by a wave of deep fear. It was so overwhelming that she had to leave the room. She couldn’t even identify what she was afraid of—it was just pure, dark fear.
I could relate to what she went through because I had experienced the same thing. For two days, I felt like I was in a kind of hell, crying and sobbing from a deep emotional pain that seemed to have no end. The strangest part was that I couldn’t figure out what the sadness was about. It felt like it came from nowhere.
In that moment of darkness, I started repeating the words “I Am,” over and over again, reminding myself of my true essence. I listened to teachings by Maharishikaa, which helped me reconnect to the calmness within. Gradually, the storm of emotions passed, and I felt a deep peace, as if I had come home.
What I did was practice Sādhanā, a way of surrendering my body and mind to the divine within. It didn’t happen right away—it took time to feel safe, calm, and at peace. The challenge is bridging the gap from the ego to the divine. It’s in those moments when everything feels so dark and frightening. But if we surrender more often, if we meditate more often, the ego begins to let go. Eventually, it accepts the divine with less resistance and fear. In the end, it allows, accepts, and follows the source.
Choosing Between Fear and Love
At the heart of this process is a choice we all face: Do we serve fear or love? Fear often feels like darkness—something we don’t want to deal with. But the more we avoid it, the more pressure it builds inside of us. When we choose love, however, fear starts to rise to the surface. It can feel uncomfortable because we start to confront parts of ourselves we didn’t even know were there.
But the beautiful part is that both choices are okay. We can choose fear or love. The choice is ours. If we choose love, the path may be bumpy at first. It might feel emotional and confusing, and we may feel lost at times. But by serving love, we tap into a vibration that transforms not just ourselves but the people around us.
Choosing love gives us a new perspective on who we are, where we come from, and what everything else is. And when we serve love, we automatically help others—whether we do so consciously or intuitively. It’s as if choosing love lifts not just our own energy but the energy of the whole world.
Embrace the Journey with Hope
So, in this journey of awakening, know that you’re not alone. We all go through moments of fear and resistance. The ego fights back because it’s scared of losing control. But by surrendering to love and to the divine within, we allow that fear to pass. We open ourselves up to a new way of being.
The road may be rough at times, but it leads to something incredible. By choosing love, by surrendering to the divine, we not only transform ourselves—we help others transform as well. And in the end, we step into the fullness of who we truly are, beyond the ego, in alignment with love.
